Her Reason
by Rosebleed
Summary: Kinda a second part of my first stories. from Logan's point of view.


This is sort of another part of my first 2 stories,

i don't own X-men...poop

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They never saw it coming.

She'd been found in her room, and they were desperate to know why she had done it. Why had this beautiful young girl try and do away with her life? She was still unconscious in the med lab. He didn't want to think of what would happen if she never woke up.

She was a large part of his life, something to always come home to her. He took care of her as a father would his daughter, and hated to see her in pain.

And he scolded himself for never seeing this coming.

He now knew why she had worn a large amount of lavender perfume for the past year; it was to cover the blood she knew he would smell. He was searching through her room to find the reason for her self-destructiveness. He had located her online diary, which contained her pictures and writings. The title of her page was, The Rogue: Her Suicidal Realm. He had always assumed that she was at least in a decent frame of mind, despite her difficulty with her mutation. Unfortunately, this webpage contradicted this thought.

Some of the pictures on the site were frightening to him, and he was not easily frightened. There was a picture of her in a Catholic school uniform, and in the picture she was holding a gun to her chin, pointing it upward. The words along the bottom said, "**I**f **On**ly". Another picture on the site was of her in a long wedding gown, and she was sitting up against her bed and a razor was suspended above her wrist and there were tears on her face.

On the webpage he read scenario's of how she planned it. Her end. They were detailed and theatrical; there were even lists of what she would need to pull in off.

After reading her website, he shut off the computer and went to go search her room. He came across sketchings and paintings, some of people and some of inanimate objects. The thing he noticed about her drawings of inert objects was that she made seemingly harmless items dangerous. Also in her paintings and drawings of people, she made them crying in almost all of the sketches; for the ones that were colored in, the tears were red. He was near tears with guilt and sadness that his sweet Marie had been so damaged without his knowledge.

He then came across a leather-bound book; upon further inspection he realized that it was her diary. It was spooky and complicated. She rambled on about how she was battling of the oppressors and how her box was getting smaller. But it was one passage that stuck in his head.

_To All Of You Who Thought You Knew Me_

_My real _**_nightmare _**_is when I wake up_

_I look in my mirror _

_And see a girl I no longer know  
I see a pretty waterfall  
I see it with a twist  
the waterfall is red  
it flows upon my wrist_

_My Life_

_Watching the days roll on  
Sitting silently as my life passes me by  
Since you left I've never been happy  
I just run away to hide and die _

Death seems like my only friend  
Its always there to turn to  
When the world gets to hard  
Never turning its back on you

I'm not afraid to leave everything behind  
My present, future and past  
All I know is that I to go away  
I'll leave this world soon

Dreaming of my families faces  
As they cry and bow their head  
Crying over the news they heard that day  
The news that I was dead

I know they did all they could  
To try and stop the hurting pain  
I don't know how long I can keep  
Pretending I am sane

I can't live this way no more  
Pretending my smile is real  
Pretending that im moving on  
Pretending I will heal

They never see the tears I cry  
When nobody else is there  
They will never feel the sadness I do  
When I see a person stare.

I know I must try for my families sake  
I'm must try to hold on  
To say that I am happy  
and all the pain has gone

But as I watch the days go on  
Sitting silently as my life passes by  
Knowing I will never truly be happy  
Until the day that I die.

He was left speechless after reading this. All of her smiles, her laughs, had all been a part of her façade. She had only seemed happy for all those months; inside she was either dying or dead. A part of him was furious with himself, he had promised to take care of her and he let her down. If she died, he would never forgive himself. He had tried to control her because he wanted her nearby; it's why he never let her runaway.

He got off her bed and preceded to the professor's office too talk to the rest of the team. He knocked on the door, and it opened,

"There's some things I need to show you."


End file.
